because I'm cool cool =)

but I stumbled across this a couple of nights ago

and I never knew why. I think in the back of my mind I did but I never thought about it like this.

It is true… I am at a stage now that is much different from my earlier years. I’m figuring out myself slowly and little by little figuring out what I want. but should I live life in this very moment or think ahead a few steps? is there any fun in that? planning everything? I try to do that sometimes but making things up on the spot isnt always that ideal . I always feel like I have a lot to prep up for some reason which is so annoying. maybe I have that disorder when everything needs to be done in an orderly fashion? but knowing me probably not =/ I think it also depends on who I am with. Those who can make good decisions on their own as well as think about the needs and wants of others or those who cannot make any decisions at all. good or bad. OR EVEN THOSE who make bad decisions and dont really think about the needs of others. Those are the worst kind because then I feel like I need to step up and take responsibility and be alpha. damn straight keith Even though I know in my head that those people think they’re so good and things will eventually fall in place, it usually doesnt and those reasons hit me almost instantly. It’s like that thing where my mum said my mind turns really fast and USUALLY I can catch up pretty quick. so it really intrigues and frustrates me that these people dont see it.

now I dont wanna sound all up myself, and I dont want to make this all about upbringings and whatnot, but some people are just good people. They have really good morals and principles, and they generally think of others at the same time. I’m not going to like everyone and not everyone is going to like me dont blame them but I would just really like it if some people would think about their actions sometimes.

I caught up on my own memories this afternoon…

I suppose I just want to throw all my annoying orderly habits away and do what I want at the time and not think about anything much. I want to not worry about it and trust the people I’m with to make the good decisions. I know I cant just thrust this on people and expect everything to turn out perfectly. and believe me when I say I love hanging out with the people I love; those know me as the one to make good decisions (Y). but you know joint effort is the best. I dont know.. am I a hypocrite? but getting over myself, I know I’ve worked on it a bit… and the realisation of what happened yesterday was somewhat more of a surge of reality of how we are. It just needs to be worked on and I hope that you want it too and so.. that would make me very happy :)